Glimpses

Sunday, August 28, 2011

News Today Prompts Emotional Outburst


(The following is a title for an article in today's online version of The New York Times)


The New York Times
Should the unattractive be given legal protection, like racial minorities?


I did not read the article above, you can if you would like the link is active for just such a possibility. What I did read was enough to irritate me this morning. The question below the title of the article "Should the unattractive be given legal protection, like racial minorities?".

This brings so many things to the forefront for me that it actually pissed me off enough I wanted to smoke BEFORE I wrote, but I am doing this first. Let me minimize my focus for a moment to just the words "the unattractive" I have to wonder, will it be the writer for this article that decides what that means… or perhaps the editor that checks the stories out before they are printed… maybe they will take a poll to see how many people's perceptions match up and use that as a scale for deciding what is "unattractive", then they can begin to have a base of judgmental assholes who are ready to provide legal protection to the "unattractive", or "ugly" as the line above it states.

Who decides what "ugly" or "unattractive" is? When you have decided, do the "ugly" and "unattractive" wear badges letting the rest of the world know they are such?

Okay, so now that the top layer of frustration has burnt off, let's peek inside the article and see what it actually says.

New York Times writer Daniel S. Hamermesh reported that there is a distinct advantage to being attractive, it "helps you earn more money, find a higher-earning spouse (and one who looks better, too!) and get better deals on mortgages" (2011).

Yeah, I suppose that's true, so what is it about this article that really makes me angry? It's the bottom line prejudices that become the pain of those people deemed "unattractive" from elementary school into adulthood. It's the weight that society puts on outer looks that determines who gets more, makes more, is more according to the societal twist on beautiful people. So how can implementing a law to protect (aka magnify) those people deemed "ugly" help?

Can you picture yourself with a group of sheeple running around hand-picking those who qualify? It reminds me of a book I read in college called "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson. If you haven't read it and want to understand more, here's a link to the story online for free in the form of a pdf, it's from a university, so there are even questions at the end to consider if you want to take it that far. It is worth the read! The Lottery - By Shirley Jackson

This article is not the true crux of my frustration, it is how people learn to judge without thinking about anything in the first place. We are shown as little girls that certain clothes are "pretty", certain hairstyles are "cute" and that it is appropriate and expected to behave in a certain manner to remain attractive. But for what purpose? To attract the "right" man/mate? Who must also be held accountable to be within specific parameters for attractiveness. He must be a good provider, strong, protective, what else? Add your own adjectives to make the picture perfect, but the point is already made, it is a predetermined criteria that we are brought up to believe is "attractive" and we do so without even considering WHY we do it.

So now we have what I call the "trophies" and the "trophy hunters" and the rest of them (the people who do not fit into either category but MUST fit into some category). Businesses thrive on trophies, and trophy hunters! Look at all the clothing stores, beauty supply counters, and television shows that cater to this type of mentality. It saddens me, frustrates me, and at times brings out an exasperation that goes deeper than any skin product could begin to do.

I've met some beautiful people, who don't fit into this mold created for them, but are by far more beautiful than those who spend hours getting their hair just right, so that they can go out to dinner and pick apart their competition. People who start and end their days with a light around them, a warmth inside them, and a soul that shines so brightly it is difficult to ignore - That's the kind of person I see as "beautiful" from the inside out.

My hope is that there will be people who think for themselves when the mob mentality begins to form. People who will be strong enough to speak up when it makes a difference, and do so from a voice that is their own.
k~

(Image of the mannequin above is courtesy of Morguefiles)

12 comments:

  1. Agree with your definition of beautiful. That's the kind of beautiful I like. Nice post.

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    1. Thanks for taking the time to read it Suzy.

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  2. H,mm. I enjoy rants. As I rant very well myself. Just ask my kids. I'm a religious reader o the NYTimes but haven't downloaded it this morning yet to my kindle. Will do that now.

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    1. If you are looking for this article Sandra, you will have to look back to Sunday, August 28, 2011... it's been awhile since I wrote this.

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  3. I see beauty in much the same way you do. The extraordinary level of importance we bestow on outward beauty is ridiculous...and like you pointed out, even outward beauty is a wholey subjective matter.

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    1. I was so blessed when I was in elementary school: one of my teachers had us put a blindfold on and ask questions of a "mystery guest" at the beginning of class. Then the person would leave, and we had to write up a paper that said what we thought the person looked like and why. At the end of the day, the teacher would bring the person back in, without our blindfolds on, and we could see what our opinions were without the visuals and how closely they resembled the truth. Most of the time, what we thought, and what we saw when that person came back in were completely different. It was a great lesson, and shaped the way I came to "look" at people in general.

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  4. I have many times stated that physical beauty is so subjective as to not really mean anything in our lives. One person may look upon a face and see total perfection while another may see flaw after flaw. There is the ideal of beauty, but it is so superficial that it often fades quickly when the personality is revealed. The beauty that lasts is the beauty you speak about and the beauty those of us of a certain age realize is the beauty that is real. A little paint on an old barn is helpful for self confidence purposes, but it won't change who lives behind it.
    You, my very beautiful friend have hit upon one of my favorite and most oft discussed subjects of being non-judgmental being the only way to live. A beautiful soul is never ugly. A beautiful face can be very ugly.

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    1. Thank you for such a thought provoking response Jo. I love what you said: "A little paint on an old barn is helpful for self confidence purposes, but it won't change who lives behind it." That is a metaphor I can grasp, keep, and share along the way.

      I wonder if people really understood that their perspective on the world is the largest of all the mirrors we have, if they might be a little kinder, even if it were only for selfish motives.

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  5. I should be mortified but I am not. We are a superficial society. I don't understand this really--says one of who is not prime material for the magazine covers--because we are all the same underneath, blood, bones, etc., I realize it's the soul of a person that makes us who we are, or the genetic wiring that determines our depth or whether or not we turn out an ax murderer or the writer of best selling novels, but being deemed 'unattractive' and then subjected to living under this cloud makes my heart bleed. I look in the mirror in the morning and who is looking back at me is not the likes of Marilyn Monroe, but I like the person I am - deeply. I have bad days, but hey, so did she (more so than I have ever had). It does sadden my heart that as a people we have come so far in so way but in others we are still hurtful and ignorant. Well said.

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    1. I love that you are happy with who you are. What I have gleaned from your writing, you are a passionate soul, that shares her heart with her family, friends, and even strangers through words.

      Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if people could enjoy one another before they begin judging one another? I would like to think it's possible, though part of me knows that it may never happen.

      We must at least use the tools we are given to speak up, stand up, and face the challenges that are worthy of our time and attention. This particular one manifests into some pretty ugly moments for some people... I have chosen to be a voice... perhaps before I even knew that's what I was doing.

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  6. Interesting concept, but so wrong indeed. I remember an exceedingly popular middle school boy who looked like he had a syndrome. Though his eyes bulged, he displayed so much confidence and had such an outstanding personality that the girls and boys alike loved him. It's not how you look but what is on the inside.


    Catch My Words
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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    1. It is in those moments that my hope is rekindled. It is very much what is on the inside. Thank you Joyce.

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I appreciate your comments, and constructive criticism is welcome!

“To bring anything into your life, imagine that it's already there.”

- Richard Bach

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