Glimpses

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Someone Like You


She's tired, at the end of her tomorrow

Drinks a glass of bitter sorrow

as he dances cross the floor

with someone new

Someone she never knew

someone just like you.


Black lace drapes her shoulder

she feels that much older

than the child that she was

just yesterday.

He scrapes the souls of innocence

she wonders what he really meant

when he said he loved her

and he'd stay.


She's tired, at the end of her tomorrow

Drinks a glass of bitter sorrow

as he dances cross the floor

with someone new

Someone she never knew

someone just like you.



This is written in response to a 100 Word Song Challenge

My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog

38 comments:

  1. sweeping and gorgeous! I like drinks a glass of bitter sorrow. That's a story in one line.

    Thank you for this.

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    1. Thank you Lance, this was a fun challenge for me :-)

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  2. Very nice Rain. N\Try it one more time with heart, LOL

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  3. You did a great job with this. I haven't written anything with less than 500 words in years. It is actually a challenge...great job, enjoyed reading!

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    1. Thank you :-) I like the challenges that require me to stay within a specific number of words, it allows me to exercise my mind.

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  4. This is beautiful! I'm not sure I could even get started in just 100 words...but then I have been known to be a little long winded. tehe

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    1. You Kat??? Who said so? (rolls up her sleeves and grinZ).

      Thank you.

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  5. oh goodness. Shivers. I CAN RELATE. *hugs*

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  6. This was very nice! Love the repeat at the end.

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  7. Wow, that really speaks volumes to me. Thank you for sharing. How beautiful!

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  8. Wow, this is amazing. So, so good.

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    1. Thank you Beth. Lance prodded me, it's his fault (grinZ).

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  9. And what did he really mean when he said he'd love her and he'd stay. I could feel a 3/4 beat with this one, and I could see them dancing a waltz.

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    1. I hear the music in my head JQ, but I attempted a music class to take it all a step further and had an epic fail at the understanding how to read and write it. I'm glad it speaks to those that can hear it though, it may be the only bridge I know.

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  10. I believe I have had a sip of that glass of bitter sorrow before and it didn't taste good at all. Great job, this is one amazing piece of writing!

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thank you Kathy. I'm pretty sure at one time, I had MORE than just a sip ;-)

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  11. Been there, watching that dance and drinking that sorrow. Absolutely perfectly done. I might be singing this the rest of the day. Too bad I can't write music, I have a tune in my head!♥

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    1. :-) Maybe you are just psychic and can hear it from mine? LOL, I can't write the music either, but I do have wonderful friends that are gifted with that ability.

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  12. Gorgeous. Simply gorgeous. My biggest fear as a father and a husband. Nicely done.

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  13. Gosh this is gorgeous. What a powerful first stanza. So glad you left a comment at my little nook of the world otherwise I would've never had the pleasure of reading this....

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    1. Well thank you Rebecca for reciprocating the web journey to this side of the cyber world. I'm glad I did!

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  14. This is perfect for the song. Sadness and loneliness and wanting your perfect person but knowing he doesn't want you.

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    1. Thanks Carrie, I played it several times so that I could separate the lyrics from the music, and them put them back together again. Then I wrote this response to the song.

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  15. Purely enjoyable. I too like that glass of bitter sorrow.

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    1. Thank you for venturing into my cyber corner:-)

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  16. This is really good! Perfect cadence. This could become a new song.

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    1. Thank you Debbie, I enjoy writing lyrics. What a wonderful compliment:-)

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  17. Quite beautiful ~ stays in the back of my mind and triggers all sorts of scenarios. Lovely in a "bitter" kind of way.

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    1. Thank you Amy. When the moments can be seen, felt, or recognized by many, it lets me know that they are meant to be shared.

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  18. Lovely and lyrical. I was caught by both words and cadence.

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    1. Thank you GPD, it's been awhile since last I saw your smile here!

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  19. He leaves a lot of wreckage in his wake. Tight write.

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    1. Thank you booguloo, I count them in as seeds for words to flourish in the garden of my mind.

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I appreciate your comments, and constructive criticism is welcome!

“To bring anything into your life, imagine that it's already there.”

- Richard Bach

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