Sunday, April 22, 2012

Rhetta and the 3 Goons

Once upon a time there was a teenage girl who ventured out into a forest, far away from her city home. She had never seen so many trees in her life. She skipped into the first part of the woods with a carefree smile, and her Rat Terrier, Tobias in a small woven bag she was carrying.

"Look at me Tobias, I am the great Red Riding, out of the Hood and into the forest," she laughed as she continued up a small trail into denser foliage.

Once she was inside the veil of trees, she wasn't sure where she was anymore. It was nothing like what she was used to in the city, where every street had a name and they all connected somehow on a giant grid. This place was different.

Rhetta and Tobias traveled pretty far before they came upon a small cabin. It was nestled in the trees with smoke trailing out of the chimney above.

"I wonder who lives there Tobias," she said as she moved closer to the door.

It was going to be dark soon and she knew that they would need a safe place to stay for the night, so she knocked on the door. No one answered.

"Hello, is anyone in there?" she asked as she opened the large wooden door. "Hello?"

"What do you think Tobias? It looks like nobody is home. You go check the place out and let me know if it's safe to come inside."

Tobias took off like a jack rabbit bounding in and out of rooms, and back to Rhetta panting.

"Well then, if nobody is here, they probably won't mind me crashing for a few. First we need to get a bite to eat."

Rhetta stepped through the door and into the kitchen where the smell of bacon still lingered. The cast iron stove was still warm and had remnants of a meal on it.

"Looks like we hit the mother lode Tobias," she said as she tossed him a strip of bacon.

She fixed a small plate of warm potatoes, scrambled eggs, and bacon, then washed it down with a glass of water.

After they ate, she and Tobias went into the living room. There she saw three chairs. The first one must have been for a small child, her hips had to squeeze into the seat.

"This one will never do," she said as she plucked herself back out.

The second one was just the right size for her, but it was so stiff that she couldn't get comfortable. The third one she tried was huge and pillow soft, the arms came up to her earlobes, which she decided was just fine with her. She pulled the afghan that was stretched over the back of the chair, over her shoulders and laid down to rest for awhile. Tobias melted into her in the first cranny he could comfortably squiggle into. They both fell asleep.

Rhetta woke when Tobias started a low growl.

"Shhhh Tobias."

She could hear the sound of people talking. Her heart started to pound in her chest, she knew the owners were home, and she had slept longer than she meant to.

"How much did we get?" the smallest goon asked, as the biggest one threw a large duffel bag on the table.

"How the hell do I know, do you think I stopped to count it on the way out of the bank? You are such a dumb f**k sometimes." the biggest one said with a booming voice.

The big guy with the booming voice unzipped the duffel bag and dumped it on the kitchen table. The whole table was covered in banded stacks of dollar bills.

"Looks like we have some house cleaning to do." one of them said in a raspy voice.

"We can clean up later, right now get your ass over here and start counting."

"Boss, you need to see this." the raspy voiced goon said as he pointed over the top of the giant chair.

Rhetta was so scared that she could hear her own breath, and it sounded like a dragon breathing into a microphone. She was sure they were going to be caught, and killed.

Just as the biggest one of the crew found Rhetta and Tobias curled up in his chair, she woke up.

Rhetta's heart was still thumping loudly in her chest. She sat straight up, and looked around the familiar surroundings of her own bedroom.

"Wow, Tobias, there will be no more reading of Goldilocks and the three bears before I go to sleep, that was a really strange dream." she said as she snuggled up to him again.

The Prompt:

Now for the weekend challenge: we want you to give us a re-telling of the classic Goldilocks and the Three Bears story. You can change the setting, the characters, and whatever details you wish, but the story should still be recognizable to us. Keep the spirit of the original work, but make it your own. And for once? You have no word limit.

Image courtesy of Morguefiles


  1. ala Dallas and "who killed JR" . . . it was all a dream. :)

  2. Thank you for using the name Tobias (formal of Toby) in your post. My last two included Toby and Trifecta requested a 'Trifecta of Toby Entries.' You and I managed to do it together. :)

    1. Oh that is fun ODNT, I did not even know about it. So that was an intervention in process. :-)

  3. I am glad it was all a dream. Those goons seemed to be meaner than the bears. I enjoyed this tale.

    1. Yeah, they were pretty ugly characters, I'm glad they disappeared with the waking :-)

  4. Oh, I totally expected her to die out there in the woods. Lucky for her she woke up. I liked the dream induced paralysis and that horrible waking-within-a-dream scenario.

    1. Thanks Jester, I had to think about this. Usually I write before I read, so that I won't be influenced by others story lines. This time I read about half of the entries before I wrote, so I was having a harder time focusing on my own thoughts... there were some good ones out there to read!

  5. The tension in this piece was palpable. Nicely done. Thanks for participating and don't forget to join us again on Monday for the next challenge.

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read and respond :-) Monday? You mean like just a couple of hours from now??? scrambles and grinZ Well... okay then.

  6. I can't believe you tricked me with the dream routine! Nicely done =]


I appreciate your comments, and constructive criticism is welcome!

“To bring anything into your life, imagine that it's already there.”

- Richard Bach

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