This week's 100 Word Song Challenge is inspired by:
Red Dead Redemption Original Soundtrack- Deadman's Gun
Here's my 100 (well okay, one of them ;-) :
Bare beer belly hanging over the edge
wide strapped leather strung 'round his head, yeah
When he'd come undone
He was a son-of-a-gun.
His daddy was a hair pulled trigger
always waiting for something
less than dreaming
should'ave seen it comin'
he's come undone
He wore the scars too many times
one more drink, another line, yeah
he was tired of,
heard he'd had enough
of
Daddy's hair pulled trigger
always waiting for something
no more dreaming
been a long time coming
Cold hand on his gun
no more hurtin' no one
Daddy's hair pulled trigger
son-of-a-gun
he's come undone.
It's funny, this song, and a tale from another person led me down this road. It's posted now, and I will leave it here, but honestly, I don't like it.
ReplyDeleteI will see if I have any creative juice flowing tomorrow, when I can figure out what is going on with Lillie.
Actually, I like it because with some polish, it's be very good and very powerful.
ReplyDeleteThanks Eric... I think it's the polish that is missing that is bothering me. Usually I do that before I set the table for guests ;-)
DeleteIn your very first line, you transported me all the way back to 1980-something, and all the cowboy dive bars I used to have to enter occasionally in North Carolina. I loved this one, L.U.V.!
ReplyDeleteThank you much t :-)
DeleteThis, I think, is awesome! Fantastic response!
ReplyDeleteNatasha, thank you. I want to work it outside of the 100... think I will.
DeleteLooks it over again, and thinks... nope... it's just not up to par... But here is stays... warts and all.
ReplyDeleteIt has a nice swing to the rhythm. That's a cool challenge, and a cooler response. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you much Lydia, for coming by to take a look :-)
DeleteSad. I am sad for the son and the father. Was the son the cause for the Daddy coming 'undone'?
ReplyDeleteAnd the music underscored the mood of the poem, or is it the other way around? :-)
~Imelda
The father was abusive, the son grew up with it, and shot him with his own gun in the long run. The song made me think of the story, so they brought each other together.
Deletek, I totally get this. I had a sexually abusive father and for years I abused myself with anger and booze and drugs. Finally sought therapy and am doing so well.
ReplyDeleteThis story was seamless and unforced, yet so powerful. I applaud your effort! Am working on a 100-word myself, but not sure I'll get it together, so good for you. Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/05/02/driving-lesson/
Thanks Amy, your voice lets me put this one to rest. If it resonates with you, or anyone who has been there, done that, got the t-shirt and threw the rest away... it is good enough for me.
DeleteI hope to see what you come up with for the 100 Word Song challenge :-)
excellent interpretation
ReplyDeleteTh muscularity of this is frightening like a car accident you cant help but view.
This was a very strong entry. I'm proud to have you with 100 word song. Great job, k
Thank you Lance. This is especially important for me on this one... it was uncomfortable... I think that was part of what made it difficult to absorb, even though they are my words.
DeleteThank you much! (Now to deal with Lillie LOL)