Glimpses

Friday, February 7, 2014

A Rocky Beginning (Master Class 2014)

Master Class 2014 - 2014-02-07

Professor SAM put out a line that Kelly Garriot Waite chose from the novel The Big Rock Candy Mountain by Wallace Stegner. It's easy to spot in the following short. This is my first time in this Master Class as a writer, most of the time in class I spend as a voyeur. ;-)

Stolen from Professor SAM's Blog
 

A Rocky Beginning
Snow fell like fluffy feathers, their refulgence added to the surrealistic scene that surrounded him. Though it was near fourteen degrees, it felt warm where he stood. He wanted to dance, and would have if he thought it would not wake the dead. He watched, with intensity as he realized that the rules that had been drilled into his head by the sandpapered hands of his father faded quickly against the seclusion of a wintery background.
He was supposed to be sad, everything about the day told him that it was what was expected of him, to be sad; instead, he felt lighter this morning, like the wings of an angel had grown from the blades in his shoulder to lift him from the dreary scene his mortal body recognized, to another place.
Obligations were like boulders that rolled over his smile. He had signed up for this, pressed his name into the pages of time that demanded he oblige them.
He was the only one left to fulfill that contract and try to justify the labor and the harshness and the mistakes of his parents’ lives, and that responsibility was so clearly his, was so great an obligation, that it made unimportant and unreal the sight of the motley collection of pall-bearers staggering under the weight of his father’s body, and the back door of the hearse closing quietly upon the casket and the flowers (Wallace Stegner).

If they could hear what he was thinking, they would stone him on the spot. There was no remorse within him, no pain to reconcile, no guilt.  Freedom had replaced the undeniable expectations with a new design. He set the paintbrush down on a long wooden bench and stood back to examine the work he had created.
"Permanent ink could have done no better with the details," he said aloud, as the quiet motor of his cat, Gracy, got louder beneath the stroke of his hand.
His life shifted, and he was certain the skies would open and thunder would shake him senseless; instead, a small ray of sunlight crossed the path outside his window, shimmering with a promise for a thaw, soon.


Images used in this blog are either mine, or come from Morguefiles unless indicated otherwise.

12 comments:

  1. I've always liked the word refulgence.. And I like that he didn't want to take the chance of waking the dead with his dance. That's a great image. So what did he paint? I need the next installment. I like your ending.. hopeful.. that promise of a thaw. You leave me wanting more... that's a good thing..

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    1. Hi Steph, Refulgence is a fairly new word for me, so I use it whenever I am able, that way I can remember it better. Thank you for wanting more, I will have to see about developing this one a bit further. :-)

      It was nice of you to take the time to stop by.

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  2. I am so very excited you brought your beautiful words to the Master Class! Your story enthralled me, captured me with your subtle details. The obligations line is my favorite of all your descriptions here. Welcome to the head of the Master Class!

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    1. Oh thank you SAM. It sure feels nice to be folded into the mix of some great writers. You made my night better by being a part of it.

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  3. Well then, I'm glad his thoughts belong just to him. ;)

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2014/02/dogwood-loves-dogs.html

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  4. That last line, that whole danged response really, was sheer brilliance! Rest assured, (I'm sure that) his wings are still spreading, strengthening until they can take him to that place.

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    1. smiles... gently Thank you m'Friend, for reading, understanding, and enjoying the romp with words with me.

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  5. I loved this, I realize every writer writes with intention and every reader reads with their own perception. To me this almost felt like the thoughts of victim of abuse who either had a hand in the abusers demise or was making a conscious choice to break the cycle. I loved and since I am reading in front of my window that currently frames a snowy day is was easy to slip right into the scene.

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    1. Hello Scorpio Scribes, There are few compliments to writing that can compare with those of a reader who is able to "slip right into the scene" of a story, no matter how short or long. Thank you for enjoying it, on a snowy day.

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  6. I identified with this and thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Lovely imagery and perfect ending.

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    1. Thank you Lisa. Happy endings are usually appreciated, though I will often be the rebel writer and end with something maudlin, just because it is more realistic in some circumstances.

      I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment.

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I appreciate your comments, and constructive criticism is welcome!

“To bring anything into your life, imagine that it's already there.”

- Richard Bach

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