She's tired, at the end of her tomorrow
Drinks a glass of bitter sorrow
as he dances cross the floor
with someone new
Someone she never knew
someone just like you.
Black lace drapes her shoulder
she feels that much older
than the child that she was
just yesterday.
He scrapes the souls of innocence
she wonders what he really meant
when he said he loved her
and he'd stay.
She's tired, at the end of her tomorrow
Drinks a glass of bitter sorrow
as he dances cross the floor
with someone new
Someone she never knew
someone just like you.
This is written in response to a 100 Word Song Challenge
sweeping and gorgeous! I like drinks a glass of bitter sorrow. That's a story in one line.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this.
Thank you Lance, this was a fun challenge for me :-)
DeleteVery nice Rain. N\Try it one more time with heart, LOL
ReplyDeletehehehhe... thanks Tim :P
DeleteYou did a great job with this. I haven't written anything with less than 500 words in years. It is actually a challenge...great job, enjoyed reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you :-) I like the challenges that require me to stay within a specific number of words, it allows me to exercise my mind.
DeleteThis is beautiful! I'm not sure I could even get started in just 100 words...but then I have been known to be a little long winded. tehe
ReplyDeleteYou Kat??? Who said so? (rolls up her sleeves and grinZ).
DeleteThank you.
oh goodness. Shivers. I CAN RELATE. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteThank you Elizabeth.
DeleteThis was very nice! Love the repeat at the end.
ReplyDeleteThank you Linda.
DeleteWow, that really speaks volumes to me. Thank you for sharing. How beautiful!
ReplyDeleteHi Susan, thanks for taking a peek :-)
DeleteWow, this is amazing. So, so good.
ReplyDeleteThank you Beth. Lance prodded me, it's his fault (grinZ).
DeleteAnd what did he really mean when he said he'd love her and he'd stay. I could feel a 3/4 beat with this one, and I could see them dancing a waltz.
ReplyDeleteI hear the music in my head JQ, but I attempted a music class to take it all a step further and had an epic fail at the understanding how to read and write it. I'm glad it speaks to those that can hear it though, it may be the only bridge I know.
DeleteI believe I have had a sip of that glass of bitter sorrow before and it didn't taste good at all. Great job, this is one amazing piece of writing!
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/
Thank you Kathy. I'm pretty sure at one time, I had MORE than just a sip ;-)
DeleteBeen there, watching that dance and drinking that sorrow. Absolutely perfectly done. I might be singing this the rest of the day. Too bad I can't write music, I have a tune in my head!♥
ReplyDelete:-) Maybe you are just psychic and can hear it from mine? LOL, I can't write the music either, but I do have wonderful friends that are gifted with that ability.
DeleteGorgeous. Simply gorgeous. My biggest fear as a father and a husband. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteThank you :-)
DeleteGosh this is gorgeous. What a powerful first stanza. So glad you left a comment at my little nook of the world otherwise I would've never had the pleasure of reading this....
ReplyDeleteWell thank you Rebecca for reciprocating the web journey to this side of the cyber world. I'm glad I did!
DeleteThis is perfect for the song. Sadness and loneliness and wanting your perfect person but knowing he doesn't want you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Carrie, I played it several times so that I could separate the lyrics from the music, and them put them back together again. Then I wrote this response to the song.
DeletePurely enjoyable. I too like that glass of bitter sorrow.
ReplyDeleteThank you for venturing into my cyber corner:-)
DeleteThis is really good! Perfect cadence. This could become a new song.
ReplyDeleteThank you Debbie, I enjoy writing lyrics. What a wonderful compliment:-)
DeleteQuite beautiful ~ stays in the back of my mind and triggers all sorts of scenarios. Lovely in a "bitter" kind of way.
ReplyDeleteThank you Amy. When the moments can be seen, felt, or recognized by many, it lets me know that they are meant to be shared.
DeleteLovely and lyrical. I was caught by both words and cadence.
ReplyDeleteThank you GPD, it's been awhile since last I saw your smile here!
DeleteHe leaves a lot of wreckage in his wake. Tight write.
ReplyDeleteThank you booguloo, I count them in as seeds for words to flourish in the garden of my mind.
Delete