Outside In
The glass sheet that kept the slick rain from entering the room seemed
liquid. He pushed a cheek up next to the cool glass and imagined he was
dancing outside in bare feet. He loved the feeling of wet grass and cool
air. Together they were paintbrushes on his soul. He wondered how hard
he could press before the glass would let him out. He believed that if
he thought hard enough, he could become liquid, like the rain and flow
through the window to the other side, where he could be outside looking
in.
............ooooooooooooh
ReplyDeleteThat's interesting. It's like the beginning of seeing into someone's soul. Will there be more?♥
ReplyDeleteBrenda, ;-)
ReplyDeleteJo, Yes there will be more. This particular story is pushing hard. I am letting the character take over, and writing what he wants me to see. :-)
Love this. Great job.
ReplyDeletePowerful! Can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteThank you ladies :-) I am intrigued by this character too... perhaps the working title is more true than I had anticipated ;-)
ReplyDeleteExcellent
ReplyDeleteOoh, this was delicious!
ReplyDeleteThank you Beth!
DeleteSuch encouragement can only guarantee, another such addition ;-) Thank you!
ReplyDeleteYes, lovely. What a opener to... is it to a bigger story or are you exploring the possibilities? I am also curious about the narrator - who is telling us about 'his' struggle. I don't write in 3rd person, but I am intrigued always by the narrators. More please.
ReplyDeleteThank you Brenda, It is part of a larger story, that decided to become a part of me a couple of days ago. The character is so strong that I cannot deny him room to breathe in pages. As for the narrator, so far there is only one, that is external/omniscient with a focus on Blake (that's the boys name). As the story progresses it may be that a shift takes place to a more internal narrator, because it feels like the narrator is connected to Blake in some way that I have not as yet defined. This one is definitely being driven by the surrounding circumstances, and emotions of the main character.
ReplyDeleteContinuation is in progress :-)