Glimpses

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Peterson's Gun (Lillie and the 100 Word Song)

This week's 100 Word Song Challenge is inspired by:

Red Dead Redemption Original Soundtrack- Deadman's Gun


This is Lillie's continuing 100 Word Song story you can find the rest of the story here.


Trevor draped his body over Lillie's and whispered "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you Lillie. I would give anything to see you open your beautiful, brown eyes and tell me I'm a jerk."

"You're an insufferable jerk," Lillie shouted.

Trevor didn't move.

"Do you remember when we snuck into Old Man Peterson's house, and took that trunk?" he asked

"Yeah," she said.

"There was an 1894 Colt Bisley in it; I think I can get enough, if I sell it, to pay for your hospital bill. I mean, what's a dead man gonna do with a gun any way?"






11 comments:

  1. awesome exchange and then the inevitable proposal. I like the pace and emotional impact of this. MORE!

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    1. Oh thank you Lance. This is the first time I have attempted to write a story based completely on a challenge. 100 Word Song has become one of my muses. Seriously thanks blushes a little bit... and keeps writing

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  2. I like where this is going - even if you're beating me to the punch (hint, hint) a bit...

    PS - awesome to see the "flattery" :]

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    1. Are you referring to the way the story is presented in the 100, 200, 300 etc...? Because I did follow your example on that, and said so in the post above the story, it made better sense than the way I was doing it with Outside In.

      I'm not sure what you mean by beating you to the punch... but it sounds a little like you think I am stealing your story, and that I would not do.

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    2. Oh no, no, no - never would I imply that! So sorry if you felt I had! Email me and I'll be glad to explain =]

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  3. Making the rounds after the A to Z Challenge to say hello!

    Susanne
    PUTTING WORDS DOWN ON PAPER

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  4. I like the comic relief of her opening her eyes just then. A little levity leaves you off kilter for the next exchange - good tension.

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  5. I am not enjoying the cliff hanger at the end of 100 words. :-) OK, I am but not fair.

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    Replies
    1. Heheheh... It's a tricky balance indeed Brenda, but I am glad you are reading along with me :-)

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I appreciate your comments, and constructive criticism is welcome!

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