Glimpses

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Temptation (Trifecta Challenge - Trouble)

Here is this week’s Trifectra challenge word:

trou·ble noun \ˈtrə-bəl\

1 : the quality or state of being troubled especially mentally

2 : public unrest or disturbance trouble brewing downtown>

3 : an instance of trouble

The Trifecta Council asks that you please remember:

Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.

You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.

The word itself needs to be included in your response.

You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.

Your post must include a link back to Trifecta.

Please submit your post's permalink, not the main page of your blog. For example:

http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2012/03/trifextra-week-eight.html not http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/.





Tad and Shane met every weekend at the Ballroom Blitz for drinks and some time away from the wives and kids. They'd been there so many times it was like another portion of their home, half way across town. Even the neon lights that hung over the pinball machine were mirrored in their own dens, like an extension of a life they lived in tandem with their real lives.

Dim lights made everyone look a little better, after the booze kicked in and the verbal boundaries disintegrated.

"Did you get a chance to see Avengers?" Tad asked.

"Yeah, we took the kids last Saturday, Thor kicked ass."

"Hulk-man was my favorite. Did you stick around for the credits?"

"Nah, by the time the credits were rolling, the kids were restless and making so much noise I would have missed them any way." Shane said as he tossed back the rest of his beer, nodding to the bartender for another round.

"You missed out on some great insight by leaving before…." Tads voice trailed off as he turned, like an owl on his barstool, to face the entrance.

The heavy wood door opened letting light in from outside. Long, slender legs led the way, followed by curving hips that held a small piece of black fabric in place. Heavy breasts spilled over the top of red lace that plunged to the bottom of her ribcage. Her waist length hair shimmered, like honeyed wheat as the light and wind played over it. Every pair of eyes was on her. She moved like water on glass to the bar.

"A shot of vodka with a cranberry chaser," she said, as she pushed her hair over bare shoulders, and stared right through Tad.

"Sure thing Trix," the bartender said as he poured.

She smiled at Tad, and put her hand on his leg.

"It's time for us to get going Shane," Tad said.

"Let's do it, this one is definitely trouble looking for a place to land."

34 comments:

  1. Good that the guys recognized trouble when they saw it. This was a fun read.

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    1. Thanks Tara. I thought about making them a bit more tempted, but it seems to be a most typical scenario, and I just don't want to be typical ;-)

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  2. I am relieved that they left this brewing trouble. :-) She just ruined their hang-out time. ;-)

    ~Imelda

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    Replies
    1. Maybe they can pick up in their dens ;-) hehehhe.. Thanks Imelda.

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  3. woah, does SHE spell trouble! Great exchange.

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    1. Thank you Sandra. She definitely does spell Trouble!

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  4. Good for them for leaving! Really fun read!

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  5. Now, usually I'm not a "breast man" persay, but the way you described it had me rethinking my position...

    And yes, any pun you may derive from that is fully intended =]

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    Replies
    1. hehehhe... gathering all of my puns and grinnin like a Cheshire

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  6. This reads SO fluidly. Very well written, K.

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    1. Thank you ODNT, that's a wonderful compliment :-)

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  7. The dialog was very natural.

    I'm impressed they left when the seductress showed up!

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    1. Thank you Libby. The guys who wouldn't are written about plentifully, but the ones that do are missed. This was my way of giving them their moment. :-)

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  8. I'm glad they had the sense to leave! I like that their comfort zone is this somewhat trashy sounding place called "Ballroom Blitz" but they're still ordinary good guys. It's a little unexpected.

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    1. Thank you Annabelle. The guys just want to hang on to a bit of their youth, in a place that hangs it on the walls ;-)

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  9. Everyone needs their fun. And this is good, as clean as you can get it without making some serious mistakes fun. And realistic. Talking about kids and movies. The woman was great. Someone that you love to hate. Nice!

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    1. Thank you so much Swirls! I appreciate the feedback, and it's always nice to hear good things:-)

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  10. first of all, I have to say "Ballroom Blitz"??? THE BEST name ever for an establishment. Love it.

    Enjoyed this piece.

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    1. Heheheh, I thought it was fun, thanks for enjoying that tidbit with me.

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  11. Good to see the men had sense to get out of there. Did Hall and Oats "Man Eater" start up when she entered the door?

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    1. I was thinking more along the lines of Bad Co. "Trouble" ;-)

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  12. Most men would jump willingly into that sort of trouble.
    Thanks for playing. Don't forget to come back tomorrow for the new prompt.

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  13. I'm so glad they had sense enough to run from trouble. So relieved!

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  14. Loved the dialog at the beginning about the movie. You have a very good ear! Made me feel like I could know these guys and was glad they got out before trouble landed.

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    1. Thank you. I love it when the dialogue just lets the words breathe life into them. It's always a good feeling when my writing friends give me kudos for that. :-)

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  15. I'm proud of Shane and Tad for remembering their boundaries, though surely longing was present. But completely unrelated to the actual story...

    And then the man at the back said everyone attack
    and it turned into a ballroom blitz
    And the girl in the corner said ooh I wanna warn ya
    It'll turn into a ballroom blitz

    Hope she doesn't kill them with a wink of here eye!

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    Replies
    1. heheh... gotta love the song Jessie!

      I'm proud of them too, another 100 might have let everyone know just how hard it was for them ;-)

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  16. nice blog checkout mine on

    http://www.onjokes.blogspot.com

    feel free to leave a comment

    ReplyDelete

I appreciate your comments, and constructive criticism is welcome!

“To bring anything into your life, imagine that it's already there.”

- Richard Bach

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