Here is this week’s Trifectra challenge word:
1 : the quality or state of being troubled especially mentally 2 : public unrest or disturbance
The Trifecta Council asks that you please remember: Your response must be between 33 and 333 words. You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post. The word itself needs to be included in your response. You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above. Your post must include a link back to Trifecta. Please submit your post's permalink, not the main page of your blog. For example: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2012/03/trifextra-week-eight.html not http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/.
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Tad and Shane met every weekend at the Ballroom Blitz for drinks and some time away from the wives and kids. They'd been there so many times it was like another portion of their home, half way across town. Even the neon lights that hung over the pinball machine were mirrored in their own dens, like an extension of a life they lived in tandem with their real lives.
Dim lights made everyone look a little better, after the booze kicked in and the verbal boundaries disintegrated.
"Did you get a chance to see Avengers?" Tad asked.
"Yeah, we took the kids last Saturday, Thor kicked ass."
"Hulk-man was my favorite. Did you stick around for the credits?"
"Nah, by the time the credits were rolling, the kids were restless and making so much noise I would have missed them any way." Shane said as he tossed back the rest of his beer, nodding to the bartender for another round.
"You missed out on some great insight by leaving before…." Tads voice trailed off as he turned, like an owl on his barstool, to face the entrance.
The heavy wood door opened letting light in from outside. Long, slender legs led the way, followed by curving hips that held a small piece of black fabric in place. Heavy breasts spilled over the top of red lace that plunged to the bottom of her ribcage. Her waist length hair shimmered, like honeyed wheat as the light and wind played over it. Every pair of eyes was on her. She moved like water on glass to the bar.
"A shot of vodka with a cranberry chaser," she said, as she pushed her hair over bare shoulders, and stared right through Tad.
"Sure thing Trix," the bartender said as he poured.
She smiled at Tad, and put her hand on his leg.
"It's time for us to get going Shane," Tad said.
"Let's do it, this one is definitely trouble looking for a place to land."
Good that the guys recognized trouble when they saw it. This was a fun read.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tara. I thought about making them a bit more tempted, but it seems to be a most typical scenario, and I just don't want to be typical ;-)
DeleteI am relieved that they left this brewing trouble. :-) She just ruined their hang-out time. ;-)
ReplyDelete~Imelda
Maybe they can pick up in their dens ;-) hehehhe.. Thanks Imelda.
Deletewoah, does SHE spell trouble! Great exchange.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sandra. She definitely does spell Trouble!
DeleteGood for them for leaving! Really fun read!
ReplyDeleteThanks for enjoying it Jennifer!
DeleteNow, usually I'm not a "breast man" persay, but the way you described it had me rethinking my position...
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, any pun you may derive from that is fully intended =]
hehehhe... gathering all of my puns and grinnin like a Cheshire
DeleteThis reads SO fluidly. Very well written, K.
ReplyDeleteThank you ODNT, that's a wonderful compliment :-)
DeleteThe dialog was very natural.
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed they left when the seductress showed up!
Thank you Libby. The guys who wouldn't are written about plentifully, but the ones that do are missed. This was my way of giving them their moment. :-)
DeleteI'm glad they had the sense to leave! I like that their comfort zone is this somewhat trashy sounding place called "Ballroom Blitz" but they're still ordinary good guys. It's a little unexpected.
ReplyDeleteThank you Annabelle. The guys just want to hang on to a bit of their youth, in a place that hangs it on the walls ;-)
DeleteEveryone needs their fun. And this is good, as clean as you can get it without making some serious mistakes fun. And realistic. Talking about kids and movies. The woman was great. Someone that you love to hate. Nice!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Swirls! I appreciate the feedback, and it's always nice to hear good things:-)
Deletefirst of all, I have to say "Ballroom Blitz"??? THE BEST name ever for an establishment. Love it.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this piece.
Heheheh, I thought it was fun, thanks for enjoying that tidbit with me.
DeleteThank you Michael!
ReplyDeleteGood to see the men had sense to get out of there. Did Hall and Oats "Man Eater" start up when she entered the door?
ReplyDeleteI was thinking more along the lines of Bad Co. "Trouble" ;-)
DeleteMost men would jump willingly into that sort of trouble.
ReplyDeleteThanks for playing. Don't forget to come back tomorrow for the new prompt.
Indeed! :-) Thank you.
DeleteI'm so glad they had sense enough to run from trouble. So relieved!
ReplyDeleteMe too Janna :-)
DeleteLoved the dialog at the beginning about the movie. You have a very good ear! Made me feel like I could know these guys and was glad they got out before trouble landed.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I love it when the dialogue just lets the words breathe life into them. It's always a good feeling when my writing friends give me kudos for that. :-)
DeleteI'm proud of Shane and Tad for remembering their boundaries, though surely longing was present. But completely unrelated to the actual story...
ReplyDeleteAnd then the man at the back said everyone attack
and it turned into a ballroom blitz
And the girl in the corner said ooh I wanna warn ya
It'll turn into a ballroom blitz
Hope she doesn't kill them with a wink of here eye!
heheh... gotta love the song Jessie!
DeleteI'm proud of them too, another 100 might have let everyone know just how hard it was for them ;-)
Thanks Steve.
ReplyDelete