Glimpses

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Staying Connected


Image is a courtesy of Morguefiles











Staying Connected

(A fiction story crafted from a Trifecta prompt)


"Hurry up Joseph, we only have a little time." Katie stood at the foot of the bed where she could easily see the doorway, just in case.

"I'm moving as fast as I can Katie, give me a break." Joe said without taking his eyes off of Uncle Sherman's head.

They spent their first four years of medical school in the same classes, with top grades and bright futures, so why were they taking such a tremendous risk now?

"Katie, I need you to hold his scalp back for me." Joe said.

Katie's face twisted up like a pretzel, "How in the hell am I supposed to watch the door AND hold his scalp at the same time?" Her frustration coupled with fear as she moved to the head of the bed.

"Just do it and shut up. Joe said.

Uncle Sherman had been a genius when it came to the development of technology aids for brain trauma patients, Katie wondered how he would feel about what they were doing. If it worked, they would be able to keep Uncle Sherman's ideas alive with his own technology.

The whirr of the Dremel was fairly quiet, but to Katie, and Joe it sounded like a chainsaw on a giant Redwood.

"Just a little more… yes, we're in!" Joe said, almost too loudly. He brushed the sweat off of his temples and peeled back Uncle Sherman's skull. "If this works, we can get his brain to the lab without ever setting off the alarms to the nurse's station." The pause between his words were excruciating for Katie, who was already back at the foot of the bed watching the doorway. "If it doesn't work Katie, we will have just a few minutes to get the hell out of here without getting caught."

Joe carefully put one of the main connectors Uncle Sherman had designed into his brain, the digital readouts indicated that the frontal lobe, and parietal lobe were still functioning. "We've got it Katie!"


This week's word is:
brain (noun)

1
a : the portion of the vertebrate central nervous system enclosed in the skull and continuous with the spinal cord through the foramen magnum that is composed of neurons and supporting and nutritive structures (as glia) and that integrates sensory information from inside and outside the body in controlling autonomic function (as heartbeat and respiration), in coordinating and directing correlated motor responses, and in the process of learning — compare
2
a (1) : intellect, mind (2) : intellectual endowment : intelligence —often used in plural b (1) : a very intelligent or intellectual person (2) : the chief planner within a group —usually used in plural
3
: something that performs the functions of a brain; especially : an automatic device (as a computer) for control or computation

Please remember:
• Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.
• You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.
• The word itself needs to be included in your response.
• You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.
• Your post must include a link back to Trifecta.
• Please submit your post's permalink, not the main page of your blog. For example: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2012/03/trifextra-week-eight.html not www.trifectawritingchallenge.com.

22 comments:

  1. So, what they put in his head was artificial?

    I like how you set everything up. It being not in a traditional medical setting gave it urgency and a cool creepy factor. good job

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    1. I will be playing with this one a bit more, it was hard to keep it at 333 words.

      The majority of Sherman's life work had been to put together a computer/device that could attach to a persons brain and bypass an affected area. While he was still in the first trial stages of his work Sherman got into a car wreck, and was put in the hospital. He was in a coma, and they were arguing about whether or not to keep him on life support when his niece and her friend decided to take one of Uncle Sherman's prototypes to task... on him.

      :-) Thanks for reading Lance!

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  2. As a beginning, this drew me in and made want answers about what was going on and where it would go. That's always good. Great start.

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    1. Thank you sparks, it is the desire of any good writer to want to get and keep their audience's attention. Thank you for stopping in.

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  3. Creeped out that this "procedure" took place in just a plain old bed! Artificially creating brain waves? Go Uncle Sherman!

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    1. Heheheh, you made me laugh Gina. I like that it "creeped" you out a little, I might worry if you were excited about that part. I'm looking forward to fleshing this one out. The story is an intriguing one to me too :-)

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  4. Woah!! The tension as Katie feels the buildup in the pause between his words is just great.

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    1. Coming from the next Mistress of the Macabre that is most certainly a good thing. Thank you JQ.

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  5. I know what you mean. The first version of my story was nearly 600 words long. I had to painstakingly edit it down to exactly 333 words without losing any part of it. Your story held my attention from start to finish, a feat in and of itself. And, yes, there should definitely be more. :)

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    1. You know I love to hear that it kept your attention. I think that is one of my favorite things about writing (or telling) a story. I'm not easy to get and keep either, so I appreciate it when you say that it is a "feat in and of itself." It will grow, it's a pretty demanding storyline. Sometimes they are like that. I can imagine myself (without other responsibilities) holed up in a cabin in the woods (with great Internet connection) writing for three or four days in a row, just because it gets that strong sometimes. But reality is, that I do have to work... sleep... and eat... (sometimes, heheh).
      Thanks ODNT for stopping by to read.

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  6. I really like this one. The setting of a regular hospital and the suspense of if they would get it or not. Keep on going!

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    1. Thanks Mags, I will be working on this one for sure. It's got some good potential for twisting the mind (it has been mine any who :-)

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  7. "... it sounded like a chainsaw on a giant Redwood." Ew! Ick! What a great (albeit creepy) choice of words. Goosebumps!

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    1. Heheheh... Isn't our language fun when we put it together carefully? Thank you so much for coming by.

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  8. Most definitely a promising beginning - make it a young adult novel, please! Sciencey, creepy, brainy, science-fiction-with-a-twist... ooh, this one would intrigue lots of teens and adults who love YA fiction!

    **Katy M (here on the A to Z trek)
    Recommending YA books beyond the bestsellers at http://BooksYALove.blogspot.com
    Follow me on Twitter @BooksYALove

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    1. Thank you Katy. I like the young adult genre, and this story is seeping into mind like a memory, which means the details come to life fairly vividly. You detoured from the A-Z path a bit with this post, but I am really glad you did.

      Thank you, I will be adding you on twitter soon! (trying to catch up on A-Z perusing hehehhe)

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  9. I love a creepy medical story. Nothing like a little mad science in the afternoon. Great stuff! Good luck on the challenge.

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    1. Me too, the plausible, edge of reality type stories are fun to read, and fun to write. If mystery is involved, I am in!

      Love your moniker.

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  10. how cool would it be if it worked :) Great job building the tension of being caught.

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    1. It would be astounding. In my next life I am going to be a brain surgeon/researcher, it would be such a fascinating field to work in.

      Thank you Carrie.

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  11. Thanks for linking up to Trifecta this week. If you haven't already done it, you might be interested in clicking on the "Meet Your Fellow Trifectans" tab on our site and introducing yourself there. Hope to see you back on Monday for the new prompt.

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    1. Indeed I have done so :-) Thank you for stopping by to see what was written in regard to the prompt.

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I appreciate your comments, and constructive criticism is welcome!

“To bring anything into your life, imagine that it's already there.”

- Richard Bach

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